Today is D Day.
Today, Mr. I'm Gonna Murder Your Heart Five Hundred Times, Then Once More For Good Measure is bringing me my stuff that I had at his place, as well as his cat. He doesn't want her anymore- apparently the cat and the girlfriend were just too much for him. It makes me feel a little better that I'm not the only poor creature who was kicked to the curb in this mess.
So, today at 4:30 I get to try my damndest not to turn into a sniveling mess. At the time of this post, I am a sniveling mess. I even have a little bit of snot running out of my nose. I am very sexy right now.
I have to decide what my souvenir shall be. A broken heart is just not enough. Last night as I lay in bed in the fetal position wondering why the Powers That Be hate me and texting innocent friends, I got the brilliant idea to keep one of Mr. Murder's shirts. Hopefully he will not notice, and if he does I shall play dumb. I will need something to wear when I cry my eyes out after he stomps on my heart one final time.
Do you think I would look better in a button down shirt with stripes or a button down shirt in solid baby blue? I'm leaning towards blue... the striped one is primarily white and will showcase all the mascara and snot stains. They are slightly different fabrics- I wonder which one would burn better when I'm good and pissed at Mr. Murder and have a ceremonial bonfire (in my backyard, not the dining room, cross my heart!)... also, should I videotape this for YouTube? Maybe a talent scout would stumble upon it and I would be discovered and become rich and famous...
Today, Mr. I'm Gonna Murder Your Heart Five Hundred Times, Then Once More For Good Measure is bringing me my stuff that I had at his place, as well as his cat. He doesn't want her anymore- apparently the cat and the girlfriend were just too much for him. It makes me feel a little better that I'm not the only poor creature who was kicked to the curb in this mess.
So, today at 4:30 I get to try my damndest not to turn into a sniveling mess. At the time of this post, I am a sniveling mess. I even have a little bit of snot running out of my nose. I am very sexy right now.
I have to decide what my souvenir shall be. A broken heart is just not enough. Last night as I lay in bed in the fetal position wondering why the Powers That Be hate me and texting innocent friends, I got the brilliant idea to keep one of Mr. Murder's shirts. Hopefully he will not notice, and if he does I shall play dumb. I will need something to wear when I cry my eyes out after he stomps on my heart one final time.
Do you think I would look better in a button down shirt with stripes or a button down shirt in solid baby blue? I'm leaning towards blue... the striped one is primarily white and will showcase all the mascara and snot stains. They are slightly different fabrics- I wonder which one would burn better when I'm good and pissed at Mr. Murder and have a ceremonial bonfire (in my backyard, not the dining room, cross my heart!)... also, should I videotape this for YouTube? Maybe a talent scout would stumble upon it and I would be discovered and become rich and famous...
Updates soon. I want you all to pay close attention and learn from my mistakes, mmmmk?
Update: Mr. Murder just left and I am a sniveling mess.
Update #2: It just occurred to me that Mr. Murder blamed ME for his not doing a good job at work or at coaching. Do I look like a Bud Light??? Cause that's his problem.
I wouldn't keep anything, But you will need something to clean up the next joe mess when you forget to let him out. So I'm thinking something Blue.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are... ?
ReplyDeleteI would have donated all of his things to Goodwill and then told him if he wanted any of it back he would have to go purchase it.
ReplyDeletert401351= bob
ReplyDeletei read your blog! lol well this one anways, i am Jake from Quimbys! Amanda, you are too pretty to worry about one boy. From the Amanda i Met you are very nice,sweet, pretty, you can get any guy you want! told you i would read it :)
ReplyDeleteYou really did read it! I appreciate that! There'll be plenty more :)
ReplyDelete